Apology


You read about those who have loved and lost, those who have sung songs and ballads of some tragic tale of love gone wrong.
If anything could be said about what I put up with perhaps someone would be amused enough to put music to these pitiful words.
I can’t help but think even though our time was short, that we did have a sort of love, but it was cut off short.
What pride does when one doesn’t want to admit when they are wrong but instead chooses to shut down and walk away like nothing was ever said or that we never met.
A cruel trick of the hand played and a nasty sharp word of ignoring silence
Icy darts of cold disappointed angered eyes are cast in the room, yet no one speaks
The offense has been committed and no one is willing to raise the white flag.
I never actually thought you would do what you did, but then you were never one for sharing much of anything.
Such quiet manners and deeps thoughts dwell in you or was that just shadows of shallow ends that I mistook for substance?
What was it that I did that caused you to turn on me so, to say goodbye in the coldest meaningless way via text on your cell phone.
I find it so bitter and so heartless that just a few weeks before reading your hollow words that you uttered this once heart joy happy sentence that every girl wants to hear and believe, “I believe I am falling in love with you.”
So soon was it spoken and yet almost regretted I see that now as the year has passed by and still no one speaks to each other.
Funny how that in the darkest hours of the night the thoughts and memories come up and torment with the what should haves and could haves and wishes and pains, the tears and the crying, the joys and the laughter the sorrow that soon grips the heart and squeezes the life out of you to the point that bitterness seems almost sweet and kind.
So I finally put up my white flag and I wrote to you.
I have been offended and I am tired of this silent wall. I apologize for having feelings for you and I apologize for letting you into my life.
I wish I never met you, but then honestly that is not true.
I am glad we met and I am glad our time was short for had it been any longer I think I would have died.
Not from a broken heart mind you but died from embarrassment from being taken in for a fool. I am glad I never told you how I was beginning to feel.
I am glad that I never spoke my heart, for it would have been all in vain.
So I apologize for it all and yet I feel sorry for you.
Pride can be good but not when it comes to admitting when you are wrong, that takes courage and you my friend have none.

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Published in: on January 19, 2013 at 2:54 am  Comments Off on Apology  

Rumors That Fly Around


Nasty little rumors fly around
Nasty little sayings go around
Nasty little whispers go in ear to ear
Nasty little words spoken here
Spoken there
What a nasty little smile you have on your face
As if you have something almost miss placed
What a nasty painted grin with a perfect white smile
What a keen nasty look that flashes in your eye
As you walk right by
Impossible you are as you come near by
Impossible to stand close as your perfume surrounds
Making me dizzy, the room spinning around
Intoxicating nectar that fills my lungs
As I breathe in and close my eyes
We are standing side by side
We are laughing in chorus
You take my hand and gently kiss it
As you, take me to the floor
The music starts and we dance
What a pair we make you and me
You so prejudice, me so proud
Nasty little looks
Nasty little smirks
Nasty little remarks that they say
Therefore, I will say Mr. Darcy
What a Nasty little rumors have you heard today
You impossible boy

Published in: on January 12, 2013 at 10:57 am  Comments Off on Rumors That Fly Around  
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Learning to say Goodbye


Seeing someone after you have had to say goodbye to or let go in your life is never quite the same. There is always that awkwardness that follows. Your not sure if you can talk to them or even look them in the eye. When you see them does your heart jump and then hit rock bottom right after, that pain of guilt or regret in how things ended, the remembrance of words that were said or not said but thought of when you were with them before the goodbye. I often wonder how things would have been if things had not happened or if they were even done different. However, when it comes right down to it, you cannot change what transpired and you just have to let it go. Funny, it’s easier said than done to just let it go. They say that there will be a day when you wake up and all the pain your heart is feeling after seeing that person who once was dear and maybe even still dear to your heart, will pass away. That’s when you know they are happy and you can move on knowing that even though you cannot see or talk to them right now, maybe one day in the future you will be able to sit down with them and be the best of friends again but for now…now you have to say goodbye and have the grace to let them go with dignity and respect.

Published in: on January 12, 2013 at 10:54 am  Comments Off on Learning to say Goodbye  
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Yesterday…


YESTERDAY? YESTERDAY,
You held me in your loving arms
YESTERDAY? YESTERDAY,
YOU GAVE ME A KISS, BUT
TODAY YOU PUSHED ME ASIDE
YOU SAID GOODBYE,
YOU SAID I WAS NO LONGER
YOURS, ALL BECAUSE I
WASN’T THERE YESTERDAY
YESTERDAY YESTERDAY….
YESTERDAY? YESTERDAY,
SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE BUT IT
IS TRUE
YOU ARE GONE AND I TODAY
I AM ALL ALONE,
ONCE WE WERE INSEPERABLE
NOW WE ARE SO DISTANT.
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO
YOU ARE ANYMORE,
ALL BECAUSE I WASN’T THERE
YESTERDAY
YESTERDAY? YESTERDAY…
YESTERDAY? YESTERDAY,
FOREVER WAS A LIFETIME.
ALWAYS WAS TODGETHER.
LOVE WAS STRONG.
YOU WERE MY ALL, MY WHOLE
WOLRD OF A DREAM COME
TRUE, BUT
TODAY THAT HAS ALL CHANGED.
AND WHY?
ALL BECAUSE I
WASN’T THERE YESTERDAY
YESTERDAY? YESTERDAY…

Published in: on January 4, 2013 at 11:16 am  Comments Off on Yesterday…  
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Player to My Heart


Player to my heart, you are a real smooth talker
With that melting, lop sided grin and perfect white smile
You get just about anything
Big Blue Eyes that tease and dance with pleasure
You can look at anything you please but you will not steal away this heart of mine
Cause I know your kind
Handsome as can be
Strong and able
Have a nice hot ride to make all the girls want to go anywhere with you
The music you play makes hearts beat to you tune
You know just what to say to make the girls look your way
You got the move and you got the groove
However, you not going to steal this heart of mine
Cause I know your kind
Talk of good times to have
Pleasure to fill all around
What this night would be if…
Nevertheless, I will not give in to you
No, I will not give in to you
I know your kind
A smooth talking liar.

Published in: on January 4, 2013 at 11:12 am  Comments (2)  
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Alone in This Crowd


Alone in this crowd I begin to feel
These feelings of solitude cloud around
Its cold and a shiver run up and down my spine
An icy chill almost like the breath of death
Moreover, the rain pours down from the sky above
Thunder claps her mighty hands and Lighting her brother
Cracks his thin eerie yellow whip to light up the dark night
And the wind begins to cry with a woeful mourn
How do you get away from this feeling of despair?
How to you stand up with your head held high?
How can you smile when the world shuts you out?
How can you breathe with no air?
Suffocation is pressing in
Moreover, I shout for the sun to shine, but even when her face is bright the heat of depression blasts forward and I fall down on my knees
Tears running down my face
I give up; I cannot go on with this game
I am tired of knowing what goes on and being stabbed in the heart.
The lies of deceit do not satisfy my taste that longs for the truth of why you ran away
How do you get away from being lonely?
How do you stand on your feet?
How can you go to work and forget about what you did
But I do not care anymore it’s not worth my time
So go on and love with your sorry pitiful life
I will not care anymore
I do not know why I bothered to think that maybe you could change
Cause I now shout freedom, freedom from this bondage of sorrow
My heart is free from this emptiness of bitterness, I look the heavens above, and that is how I keep from being lonely in this crowd!

Published in: on January 4, 2013 at 11:09 am  Comments (3)  
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